A short checker
Type one sentence you catch yourself running, the kind with a should, have to, need to or must in it. Three short steps later, you will know whether to keep it, rewrite it or hand it back. It takes about two minutes, and nothing is saved or sent.
It is the question I ask the people I work with, and myself. From the note Whose rulebook is that? How to spot a rule you never chose. New here? Read it first, or just start below.
First
What is the sentence?
A should, have to, need to or must you catch yourself running. Use your own words, and keep it to one sentence.
Or try one of these:
Second
Whose voice is it in?
When you say it to yourself, whose voice does it sound like? Pick the first one that comes to mind. A sentence can come from more than one rulebook.
Third
Would you choose it today?
Think of a calm moment, not the moment the sentence arrives. If you were picking a sentence to live by now, would you pick this one?
Your sentence now
Anything in a coloured box is yours to finish. Say your new sentence out loud once, and change the words until they sound like you.
Worth remembering
If you want to go slower with a sentence like this one, there is a five-minute read-aloud, with a one-page sheet to print: Handing it back.
If the same rulebook keeps turning up in different parts of your life, that is a conversation more than a tool. I keep a free 45-minute call open for exactly that.
Occasional, when something is worth sending. No schedule to keep up with.