A short tool

Where do you already trust yourself?

Most of us know how to trust ourselves in at least some parts of our lives already. And, at the same time, we ask for advice in a lot of other areas in our lives.

This exercise takes that part of yourself that already trusts and puts it to work on the areas where you are still asking everyone else.

From the field note How to trust yourself: ask the question you are afraid of. New here? Read it first, or just start below.

How to use it

  1. Name three areas of your life. Any three will do: a part of your work, your money, a friendship, a decision at home. Keep each name short, for example "work decisions", "money" or "a friendship". If you can only think of two, add a third where you often ask other people what to do.
  2. Say what you usually do in each one. When you already know something in that area, do you act on it, do you check first, or does it depend? Checking first means asking people for advice, searching, or asking AI before you move. For example, you might act straight away on a work decision and ask three friends before you decide anything about money. If you are not sure, "It depends" is an honest answer.
  3. Choose the area to practise in. The area where you ask for advice most is pre-selected for you, because that is where trusting yourself will change the most. If another matters more to you, press it instead. You then get one small thing to try this week.

It takes about three minutes. Nothing you type is saved or sent anywhere, and it stays on this page.

Start here

Step 1 of 3: Name three areas of your life in the boxes below. When all three are filled in, press Continue and you will say what you usually do in each one.

Keep going

Step 2 of 3: For each area, choose what you usually do when you already know something there. When you have chosen all three, press Continue and you will pick the area to practise in.

Checking first means asking people for advice, searching or asking AI before you move. Pick the closest. There is no right answer.

Nearly there

Step 3 of 3: The area that you ask around about most is pre-selected below. Change it if another matters more to you.

When you are happy with the choice, press Show me and you will see one small thing to try this week.

Here is what that shows.

Before you act, notice what you feel as you listen: calm, excited, lighter, heavy, tight, or something else. After you have acted, notice it again. Write down the day and both feelings.

A printable week of this, one small decision a day, with what you felt first beside each: The kept-decisions scorecard.

If the decision keeps going round without landing, Can't make a decision? has a way through. If you are saying yes while meaning no, the yes log shows what each yes pays you. If a should you never chose is in the way, handing it back takes about five minutes.

If trusting what you know has been hard for years, it often helps to talk it through with someone. I keep a free 45-minute call open, and I can walk you through it.

Book a Free 45-Minute Call

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